"I'm sorry I hurt you. I tried not-caring out of a selfish (though normal) desire not to feel pain when you didn't seem to appreciate or care about me. I have learned three things; 1) I still DO care, because knowing that I have harmed you like this makes me want to throw up, 2) It's not your job to appreciate me. I'm the adult: it's my job to care for you and support your mom in caring for you. 3) We can't selectively numb our feelings - I was trying to numb the hard moments of parenting, but there's no way to do that without numbing everything, which made me care-less in doing that session in a way that hurt you. And maybe an immature part of me was trying to hurt you just to see if you really didn't care."

PS: A licensed therapist should be helping to insure that your session is confidential and not being recorded.

--

She/Her ~ Contemplative Minister at Deep South Dharma and The Beautiful Human School on Teachable. Tip to donate to Buddhist Global Relief and relieve hunger.

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Rev Christie

Rev Christie

She/Her ~ Contemplative Minister at Deep South Dharma and The Beautiful Human School on Teachable. Tip to donate to Buddhist Global Relief and relieve hunger.